


Karkat: be bewildered by your life

by LaughingStones



Series: Cavernstuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Cavernstuck, Multi, the angels live in big fucking trees, the demons live underground but not in hell, which is heavenly until the cicadas start up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:38:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1962351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughingStones/pseuds/LaughingStones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat got caught spying by Jade and John, who decided he was cute and pounced.  Things like this are not supposed to happen to him.  Now what?</p><p>Now kissing happens, apparently.   Also a rescue and discussions of cultural differences.   And why do angels have no clue about the difference between pale and flushed?!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Catch and Release

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Adventures in Collaborative Storytelling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/385399) by [Asuka Kureru (Askerian)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/pseuds/Asuka%20Kureru). 
  * Inspired by [it-was-a-bad-idea-for-dave-to-go-explore-hell](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/61680) by syblatortue. 



The demon sat on a mesa, staring out over the desert as the sun set. Fading light glittered on every needle-leaf of the scrawny plant growing from a crack in the rock by his foot. The still surface of the ocean shone just at the edge of the horizon.

It had taken him some time to get out of the canyons and then clamber his way up to the top of this rock, and now he wasn't sure why he'd bothered. Past-him was probably just a pancracked imbecile, as usual.

The flutter of wings above him almost didn't come as a surprise. Sure, past-Karkat, go to the highest point in sight on a big open empty rocky plain, there's no way anyone who happens to be flying around up there will notice you.

"Hey, buddy!" It was the male angel, the blue-eyed one. He landed right beside him, wings folding back with a ruffling of blue and white feathers. Stupid feathers.

Stupid wings. Karkat glared at them because it was better than staring hungrily. Getting to the top of a mesa was easy with wings. Otherwise you might have to claw your way up the rock walls like a particularly large, clumsy scaled skitterbeast. He curled his lip at the angel, flashing fangs.

"Wow, pretty sunset!" The angel plopped down beside him, legs dangling over the cliff's edge. He was actually dressed decently this evening in baggy lower-torso-coverings that went down to the knee, and he'd deigned to wear a shirt. Red-gold light turned his brown skin ruddy and made the blue lines swirling over his arms look grey, shining off the pearls and iridescent shell inlay in his armbands.

"So, we thought when you ran off like that you might need some time to yourself, so we gave you a few days. Then you didn't come back, and I wondered if we scared you. I mean, you'd been spying on us for a while, but maybe you only really wanted Jade like that, not me, and then when I came in it was kind of overwhelming and you - "

"Don't flatter yourself, featherboy," Karkat growled, "you couldn't overpower me if you wanted to. I have claws, remember?"

The angel snorted. "I didn't say anything about overpowering you, I said you were overwhelmed, like you hadn't expected that so you were startled and you didn't - "

"I was so startled that I went limp like a frightened flop-beast instead of clawing my way through your soft, unprotected bellies all the way to your thoracic support-columns?"

The angel rolled blue eyes and giggled. "Right, that was clearly an option, because you're obviously so interested in hurting us, geez."

"As pathetic a demon as I may be, I'm not actually so fucking feeble as to be completely pan-shattered by the overwhelming majesty of a couple of feathery assholes."

"Okay, so you're all right with it, good!" Karkat stubbornly kept his mouth shut, but the angel didn't seem to expect him to confirm it. "So that means you're just running away because you don't think you can really have us both! That's what Jade thought, but I wasn't sure."

Karkat drew breath to express in a loud and forceful manner exactly how fucking wrong this was, and how full of bullshit both Jade and her irritating brother were, and maybe to inquire just how stupid they honestly thought he was to believe that not just one but two angels could actually want a nubby-horned, wing-ripped freak of a demon, but he didn't get the chance. Before he could get a good yell going, the angel reached over and took careful hold of the tip - just the tip - of one of Karkat's horns, tugging gently. The rant stuttered to a brief halt. Then he leaned into Karkat's space and kissed him.

Naturally, Karkat instantly shoved him off in disdain like a lordly, powerful demon with no interest in angels except for the noises they make when -

No, Karkat pushed him down on his face and began to tear his clothes off, a demon fully in command of the situation and -

All right, well, at least Karkat did not whimper. And he absolutely did not cling, or try to wrap himself around the angel like a scarred, ugly grey coat.

If anyone was letting out little breathy moans intermingled with rasping chirps, it had to be the angel. Obviously angels could chirp like anyone else when they wanted to.

After a while the angel pulled back, one hand on Karkat's cheek and the other gently rubbing a thumb up and down his horn. Karkat tried to get the chirring under control.

"See, the thing is, we want you back, so if you still want us, you can have us. But you have to not run off and hide and make us think we might have pushed you too far."

"I wasn't hiding, idiot, I went back Down for a little while."

"Oh!" His bucktoothed grin shone, as irritatingly cheerful as ever. "That's fine, then. You can go wherever you want, we don't want to control your movements or anything, but maybe next time you could leave a note or something, huh? We might get worried otherwise."

"And I wouldn't want that." It didn't matter how sarcastic he was, it never made a dent in the idiot's cheerful grin.

"No, you wouldn't!" The angel laughed. "Jade might put you on a leash like the pup she stole from Cerberus!"

Karkat swallowed hard. The desert heat was supposed to fade as the sun set, but he suddenly felt a lot warmer.

"Oh wow! You've got quite a grip with that tail, buddy!"

Karkat gave him a blank look, pretending he absolutely had meant to coil his tail around the angel's closer knee. Everything was under control, all body parts following orders without difficulty, he just didn't feel like unwrapping his tail quite yet.

Looking away again, he grumbled, "What is it with me and angels? Am I some kind of feathery-idiot attractant now? First there's the two of you, then I stumble over that half-winged asshole with the broken sword - "

"Broken sword - _half-winged?_ " the angel said sharply, but Karkat almost didn't hear him over the piercing shriek from high above them.

" _Dave! You found Dave!_ "

Whipping around with all his claws up, Karkat only didn't fall off the mesa because the angel at his side grabbed his elbow and pulled him back from the edge. He stared up to see the girl angel in a plummeting dive from far up, wings mostly folded, and the rage at having been startled so badly - had she been listening this whole time? - transmuted into fear that she wouldn't be able to pull up sharply enough, she was going to crash, he was going to see angel blood for the second time in two nights, she would be crippled just like he was and the thought of seeing her broken like that, all her easy grace stripped away, made him want to claw his eyes out -

Her wings snapped out and beat twice and she landed as lightly as a puff of ash. Karkat's knees gave out.

"Yeah, she kinda flies like that, sorry, buddy," said her brother sympathetically, as she threw herself at Karkat and started shaking him.

"You've seen Dave! How badly is he hurt? He went off days ago and wouldn't tell us where and he hasn't been back and we haven't heard anything! _Take us to him!"_

 

It was easier to take them than to explain that their friend was fine except for losing half a wing. He'd been too weakened by blood loss to follow Karkat on the long climb up the brimstone cliffs, and Karkat never used the official pass from Underneath to Above (the one that didn't involve scaling cliffs) because Cerberus made him nervous, and might not let an angel past anyway (might not let a lowblood past). Not knowing what else to do, Karkat had left him in a deserted passageway near the cliffs under the protection of someone whose curiosity would keep her from harming such an entertaining angel.

When they got there, the commotion of the angelic reunion (scolding recriminations mingled with drawled rebuttals) covered up the sound of Terezi sniffing at him, but Karkat knew what it meant when she smirked.

"You have delicious blueberry angeldust on your lips, Mr. Sour Cherry Pie!"

He scowled and tried to ignore the way his face heated. "Yeah, well, you - " He blinked, looked her over more carefully. "You... have angeldust all over. You - Terezi, _him?_ "

"And what is wrong with him?"

"He's - " crippled ruined broken but at least he's not wingless, there is that, " - he can't fly!"

"And what is wrong," she said crisply, her lazily lolling wings suddenly folding in with a leathery _snap_ , "with being flightless?"

He stared at her. "...it means he _can't fucking fly_."

She softened a little. "Which is traumatic, painful and inconvenient for him. But why exactly should it affect me? Does it mean that he is lessened, flawed in some way, unworthy of my attention?"

Karkat couldn't speak.

"No," she said gently, "no, it does not. I decide who is worthy of me, and unless he takes himself out of the running by studiously avoiding me after this," Karkat looked down at the scuffed, dirty claws on his toes, "he is."

They were silent for a moment, listening to the douchebag in question. " - Sure, after he'd been spying on the two of you for days, I had every reason to believe he was totally reasonable and aboveboard, I mean nothing says 'utterly trustworthy' like heavy-duty stalking - "

"Oh, come _on_ , dude - "

" - Didn't realize the two of you planned to do a catch-and-release boytoy thing with him - "

" -The most suspicious bastard! How hard would it have been to _give him a message_ to pass on to us, fuckass?!"

Terezi got to her feet and flipped her wings open, stretching them thoughtfully. "Hm. Upon reflection, it appears that there is a great deal of interest to be found Above. Perhaps I will accompany you all when you return. Dave, would you like a ride?"

The argument/reunion cut off as both of Karkat's angels gaped at her and the half-winged one tilted his head consideringly, light gleaming on his shades. Terezi had gotten him cleaned up and his torn wing bandaged, but he still looked paler than Karkat thought even a bleached-out angel like him should be.

"Eh , why not? Check out those swank leather wings, yo, see the talons on those babies? This is one lethal and high-speed vehicle here, suitable to carry my fine ass in style."

Karkat's angels transferred their dumbfounded looks to him.

Terezi cackled. "You had best board quickly, then, as this transport leaves immediately!"

Karkat looked away from the brief, silent negotiation as Terezi tried to find a way to hold him that wouldn't jar his wings or tangle them with hers. Jade recovered and stepped forward, smiling. "If you carry him, that leaves us free to share our demon!"

"Mr. Sour Cherry's name is Vantas," Terezi said helpfully. Karkat glared at her.

"Vantas! Finally, thank you! I'm Jade and that's John. Great! Just remember, if you drop Dave, or hurt him in any way - "

"Don't do the speech, god, don't do the speech," Dave groaned from Terezi's arms.

"Oh, fine, spoilsport!" She stuck out her tongue at him, then gave that same cheerfully implacable smile. "We'll make you regret it, that's all."

"Yeah, he may be a jerk, but he's one of our favorite jerks!" John chimed in.

"Wow, thanks a lot, guys, great sendoff, can we go now, or do we all have to posture more first, maybe restart that totally awesome war we all came here to escape?"

"I would sooner chop off all my claws than drop Mr. Cherry Soda," Terezi said solemnly, and took off.

"Well, after all that bitching about how demons can't be trusted, not ever, now he's following our example!" Jade said, watching their flight path.

"Dibs on Vantas first," John said.

"Oh, pooh! Cheater. Fine, but you can't have him the whole time, I get half."

"Deal."

Karkat managed to stop flapping his mouth uselessly long enough to say, "What, do I not get a fucking say in how I get back up there? Has my body suddenly deteriorated to nothing but a limp and helpless fleshsack, incapable of conveying its own diseased weight beyond arm's reach before collapsing in a degenerate, filth-spewing heap on the ground?"

John snickered. "Noooo," he said, "but if you don't let us carry you, we can't persuade you to try out sex in the air!"

"Oh, yes!" Jade clapped her hands, bouncing, which did not help Karkat's suddenly lagging thinkpan function in the least. "Yes, yes, can we, please? Or maybe that's pushing too fast, and you should just think about it first. But say we can carry you."

Karkat's head bobbed without him really intending it.

"Good!" said John, scooping Karkat into his arms like he weighed nothing. "Let's go!" and they took off.


	2. Midair Discussions

After they'd made their way back along the passages, up through the cleft in the rock ceiling and were flying through the dark canyons, John spoke. "You could've mentioned Dave a bit sooner, dude. We were really worried, and you knew where he was and that he was hurt, but you didn't tell me first thing?"

"Why the fuck would I?" Karkat craned his neck to get a better view of the angel's face than the underside of his jaw. "How was I supposed to know you even knew him?"

"Uh, wouldn't it still be a good idea to tell me?"

"That's why I mentioned it at all, panleak, to test your reaction. And you obviously gave a fuck if he lived or died, so I let you help. If you'd acted like he wasn't clade to you, we would've had to wait until he'd trust us enough to tell us where Above to bring him to be safe. That would've taken a while, so, lucky coincidence." Or maybe it wouldn't have taken so long, considering how well he'd apparently hit it off with Terezi, but Karkat wasn't thinking about that.

There was a silence, and then John said, "So, if something happened to you up here, you wouldn't expect help from any demon we might get in touch with, only particular demons who know you?"

"Fuck, no. I wouldn't expect help from just anyone who knows me, either.  Probably half my clade wouldn't actually give a fuck if I got hurt."  Well, Kanaya.  Not Sollux. Nepeta would for sure, but what could she do?  Terezi... maybe.  "There's a couple who'd care, I guess."

"How about, I mean, when you lost your wings, how did people react to that?"

Karkat went stiff all over and couldn't keep himself from hissing. "What kind of fucking question is that?"

"Look, I'm sorry, I just don't understand how demons work at all! Didn't anyone try to help you?"

He swallowed and didn't close his eyes because being carried in flight was too reminiscent as it was. "Yeah, but. He wasn't anyone I know."

"Did the people you know not react well?"

"Not... really." He'd flipped out and refused to see anyone face to face, got into stupid fights with them in chat until for a while Kanaya was the only one who messaged at all anymore. His own fucking fault for being a pancracked waste of breath. Nepeta eventually started talking to him again, but even after the past two nights he didn't know where he stood with Terezi. She was probably still angry, she certainly had a fucking right. "Can we not fucking talk about this?"

"...Yeah. Sorry."

John flew in silence for a while. They soared over dark mesas, approaching the mountain in the middle of the island. The blue swirls running over his thorax and shoulders glowed faintly in the dark, just enough to be visible. "That all sucks," he said eventually. "It's not like that with us.  Most of us would want to help any angel in a bad situation like, well, like Dave was in, whether or not we knew them."

"Because angels are fucking weird. Like you pity everyone, one big pancracked feathery pale orgy."

"We don't _pity_ everyone, we think kindness is important!"

"Hah," Karkat said, and left it at that.

"So, what's 'clade'? Is it like family?"

"Uh. Yes, sure, that's useful, give me a word I don't know to define a word you don't know, why not, idiot. Clade is... like, your quadrants and hatefriends and theirs, the people who your quadrants might come from, who ideally do give a fuck if you live or die. You tend to be from the same hatching, but not necessarily, and not all hatchmates end up clade."

"Hatchmates! Okay, so like siblings, yeah. Family."

"Sure, whatever." Karkat rolled his eyes. "Originally the name meant just you and your ancestor, but then it started to be used for those close to you in other ways than genetically."

"...Huh. So, are you not genetically related to your hatchmates?"

"Of course not!"

"Oh. Is your friend, Dave's new friend, your clade?"

"Obviously, or I wouldn't have trusted her to watch a hurt angel like that. And she wouldn't have helped." She was still clade, even if she wanted to drop Karkat off a ledge now.

"Hmm. Is it okay that she gave us your name?"

Karkat snorted. "She didn't. I mean, that is my name, but not the one with the most power. There're other Vantases, she wouldn't endanger me by handing out my personal name."

"O-oh." A brief silence. "You think you'd be in danger from us?"

Karkat hesitated because he knew what the feathery idiot really wanted, and he just had to think about it for a moment, okay? John pulled him closer to his chest as the rocky mountain slopes slid past far beneath them. "Sorry," the angel said quietly. "I didn't mean you have to - I mean, not that we even know how to use names against people, but you don't have to tell me if you don't feel safe - "

"Karkat," he said roughly. He had to force it out, but it was only fair, since he had both theirs now. It still felt a little like taking off his skin, all the nerve-endings exposed and vulnerable to the capricious breeze. At least it took his mind off thinking about how he'd fucked up with everyone.

"Oh," John breathed. "Thanks." Abruptly he swooped and dove - Karkat only squeaked a little bit - then climbed as the air suddenly lifted them upwards again, his blue markings glowing brightly now. It seemed like Karkat could feel the angel's delighted grin as a physical presence in the air. He tried not to overthink it, but with John so happy over the granted intimacy it really seemed like -

"Okay," he said, sheepish and hasty, mumbling into John's shoulder. "This, this really seems kind of flushed, but maybe it's different, is it different for angels? Because I don't want to make any assumptions, that would be really fucking stupid, and maybe you're not even looking for a quadrant. So just, tell me. Please don't say you're quadrant-smearing," he added before John could speak, "because I really, I cannot handle that right now, and if you wanted me pale we shouldn't have involved our fucking bulges in the first place."

"Uh," John said, and he cringed in the breath of silence that followed. "Ahhh-I... would really like to answer your question, except I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Fuck," Karkat groaned. "How can you not fucking know, how much clearer can I say it?" How much more humiliating could this get than spelling out his hope to someone who probably didn't even care?

"Just explain what flushed and pale is, buddy, and then I can help you, okay?"

"...Fucking _angels_. What, you don't even have quadrants? Do you have any fucking concept of romance?"

"I don't know about quadrants, but yes, of course we have romance!" He could hear the frown in John's voice. "You should see my dad and Rona, they're really romantic, even though they've been together for decades!"

Karkat sighed. "Well, that's something, I guess." At least he knew there was conceptual space for the ideas to fit into. Better start from the most fundamental basics anyway. "Okay, clear out your auricular sponge clots and listen. Try to use what remains of the sponge you were hatched with."

"Ah..." John said.

"What, nookstain? Do you want to get schoolfed or not?"

John snickered in that annoying way he had. "Right, sorry, go ahead."

"Okay. Pale and flushed are both pity quadrants, but flushed includes mating fondness. Pale means... taking care of someone. Keeping them from doing anything tail-blisteringly stupid, or going off into a rage and tearing anyone apart, keeping them calm, listening to their problems." Karkat swallowed and rubbed the middle of his thorax, which had just started to ache a little. His wing scars itched. Okay, enough, stop thinking about that.

"Anyway. It's a huge fucking difference, one has sex and the other doesn't, it's conciliatory and completely platonic. But obviously just having sex isn't enough to make it as matesprits, I mean, that's a real commitment, not just a casual thing." Shit, that sounded demanding, didn't it? "Not that there's anything wrong with casual sex, I mean, obviously that's - I'm fine with - " fuck, no, now he sounded desperate for anything, which might be true but he didn't have to say it out loud. "Maybe angels don't even - and that's fine, I just - _fuck_. Let me just shut my blithering squawk-gaper before I choke on my own festering - "

"Okay, so are you saying you want to date? Like, a relationship? You said a commitment, right? Because we, yeah, we could try that. I mean, like, it might not work out, sure, but we might as well try, right?"

...It almost sounded like John was nervous. "Yeah? You, uh, you think so?"

Karkat felt the angel's thorax expand against him as he took a deep breath. "Sure, why not!" His voice was definitely louder than was necessary to be heard over the rush of the wind.

Karkat snorted. "Right, you're obviously thrilled at the idea. You don't have to fucking lie to me, it's not exactly a surprise - "

"No, I'm not! I mean, I am, I'm not lying - gah, shut up, okay? I really am willing, interested in trying, I just. I mean, serious relationship, sure, sounds great, but I'm not really good at serious and I'd sort of like you not to end up hating me because it turns out we're totally incompatible," he sucked in air and went on full-speed, "I mean I've never had a real relationship before, only sort of played around and there were no stakes and no rules except don't be a dick, but you're a demon and I don't even understand half of what you say, so I could end up hurting you really easy and that would _suck_ \- " His wings were beating erratic and choppy now, bouncing them through the air, and it wasn't comfortable.

"Hey, bulgeknot! Watch your flying, you're shaking me like a fucking hollow debris-filled festival instrument!"

John caught his breath and half laughed, took a few deep breaths and evened out his wingbeats, though Karkat could still feel his bloodpusher pounding. "Sorry. You really want to try?"

Did he? The sex had been weird but good, and even if John had the habit of making gestures bordering uncomfortably on pale, at least it meant he wasn't likely to edge on jet half the time like Jade seemed to do. Although... Jade was really hot. Even if she insisted on vacillating, Karkat really might not mind - but no, she wasn't even offering a quadrant. She'd started this whole thing off saying it was just for fun, for fuck's sake. It wasn't a choice between her and John, just John or not.

What the fuck was he doing with his life when taking an angel for a matesprit looked like a good decision?

"Yeah," he said, voice rasping. "I do."

John pulled in a long breath. "Okay. But I, okay, I just, can you tell me why? It's just, there are so many ways this could go wrong when we don't even understand each other, we're from totally different cultures and - why do you want to try this? With me."

"Why do you?" Karkat shot back.

To his surprise, the angel laughed and relaxed a bit. "Oh, that's easy! You're funny and cute and sexy, and I kind of like you! And it'd be pretty cool to learn more about demons, since you do sort of share the island with us, even if you're under it and we're up top. But you - I know you tolerate me, but I'm not sure you..."

"I trust you," Karkat said quietly into his skin. "You don't have - it's obvious you wouldn't hurt me even when I'm vulnerable. I was fucking out of my pan to pail a couple of angels in the first place, but you made it really fucking clear you didn't even want to scare me, much less take advantage of the situation to maim or kill me."

"Holy shit, Karkat," John said, and a shiver went down his thoraxic support column, hearing his name in that voice. His tail tightened a little around John's forearm where it came up from under Karkat's knees. "Do you actually have to worry about that with other demons?"

"John. I'm going to say it again, so try to pay some fucking attention this time," he sighed. "I am a wingless mutant. The most loathsome, crackpanned trash at the bottom of the hemocaste rejoices in their infinite superiority to me. My sole value lies in the fact that I know how to stay the fuck out of sight, and that if someone decided to drain me my shitty worthless blood would make very pretty paint. So yes, yes I fucking do have to constantly be on guard around other demons, because few of them have any reason not to take advantage of a second of weakness."

"Man. That's just - gah. Why, urgh, why would anyone drain you for your blood?"

"The blood would just be a nice addition. They probably wouldn't take much, it's not the point. If you want more power," it was safe to tell him, he was disgusted by the idea, "you only have to start the blood flowing well from a less powerful demon and you can draw off as much of their power as you want." He swallowed, grip tightening on John's shoulder. Intent grey eyes on him as he writhed and choked, wings fanning over him with scales just tinting sulpher-yellow. No, cut it the fuck out, he could not get stuck in that memory or John would try to soothe him, he just knew it. "Anyway, I can trust you because you're safe. That's why."

"But - you could say the same of any angel in my family, once you get to know them! I mean, none of them would ever hurt you like that either, so - "

"All right, fine," Karkat said in annoyance, "there's also the way you seemed to pretty much pity me at first sight." And now he was blushing, snakes fuck him. At least angels had terrible night vision.

"Pity?" said John, sounding dubious.  He paused a moment.  "Wait, you said this is a pity relationship before.  So, for demons, that's a good thing?"

"Of course it's a fucking good thing!  To have someone who gives a shit about you and wants you to be happy?  Someone you can trust not to claw you in the wings if you show them your back?  What, angels don't want that?"

"Yeah, I guess, but we don't call it pity.  I'd call that caring about someone, not pitying them.  And if you're in a relationship, you don't feel pity for the person you're with, you're in love with them.  So of course you don't want to hurt them."

"That's just fucking bizarre," Karkat growled.  "'In love,' what a weird thing to say, that doesn't even mean anything.  What you're talking about is romantic pity, dipshit, get it right."

"Romantic pity," John said slowly, and even not looking, Karkat could hear the stupid grin forming on his face.

"Obviously."

The angel dove suddenly, making Karkat screech and cling.  "Well," he said blithely through Karkat's torrent of swearing, "it's a good thing I've got you here to explain all this to me, otherwise I would have kept thinking I already understood it."

"You massive panleak," Karkat yelled, hands fastened tightly to John's shoulders, "you sponge-deficient bulgelicking taintchafing asshole, why did I ever fucking agree to this?  Why would I submit to being carried by the kind of moron whose pan is so lacking in any substance besides feathers that he thinks taunting gravity is a fun fucking recreational activity? Obviously I am just that much of a complete pancracked imbecile. I can't even - "

"Whoa, hey, no talking down about yourself just because Jade isn't carrying you.  You don't want me to get her on your case again, do you?"

"Rrrgh." He glanced around and caught the flash of green and white wings some distance ahead of them in the dark sky. Jade kept doing loops, circling back around to check on them or something, but then she'd get distracted and not come back for half an hour. By now Terezi was far enough ahead he couldn't even see her and the douchebag she was carrying. "Fine, what the fuck ever. Getting back to the point. Whatever you call it, you seem to have at least a shred of romantic pity for me. So that's, I dunno, it's nice, I wasn't expecting that." He hadn't even known what to expect, suddenly confronted with two angels wanting to pail him, but it hadn't been anything good.

"Okay," John said, sounding anxious again, though not as much as before. "Okay. I can, I can do this. Oh hey, but what about Jade, you need to ask her too!"

"Wha - I what?" Why the tailchafing fuck would he need to ask Jade if he could be matesprits with John? Unless that was how it worked with angels, you needed your clade's permission to fill a quadrant? That would be stupid and controlling, but with angels, who knew.

"I think she'd be interested, but I don't know for sure, so you should ask her."

"Interested in what, feathersponge?"

"Uh, Karkat, in having a relationship with you! I mean, what else have we been talking about?"

He just gaped for a long moment, unsure where to even start with this. "So... you mean, with _both_ of you?"

"Oh, wait!" John's wingbeats stuttered briefly. "You didn't - Karkat, did you mean just with _me?_ Wow, that's not what I - I was just thinking how Jade would make sure I don't screw up right away, but if you're not even interested - I just, oh wow - "

"No! I. I am. Interested. That's just not how it usually fucking works, you don't have two matesprits, people get jealous. Demons do. Do angels just, somehow, not get jealous?"

"Uh." John tipped his head to the side and back in a sort of shrug. "I guess we do, sometimes. It'd just feel sort of weird to do this without Jade, y'know, since she started it. I wouldn't have done it on my own, I, um." He made a funny sort of creaking noise. "...thought you might be dangerous."

Smugly, Karkat gave a pleased click-chirr deep in his throat. "And you were completely fucking correct. I am a sneaking horrorterror, I am deadly and highly capable."

"You're deadly adorable," the feathery idiot said, smirking, and Karkat growled warningly.

"Adorabludgeoning," he corrected.

John just snorted, the asshole, and the blue swirls on his skin flared brighter for a second. "So, let's get Jade over here and you can ask her!"

Karkat looked ahead again to see when Jade would start back toward them - except that she was already coming. "How the fuck?"

"Oh! I let her hear what I just said," John explained, as though that made any fucking sense at all. Karkat let it go. Fucking angel magic; he couldn't even feel it.

He watched Jade move rapidly toward them and tried not to think. Behind her the angelwood was visible now. It rose and spread out in a low green cloud that stretched most of the way to the shore on one side, vast trees looking ordinary size from this distance instead of the mountainous green towers they were.

Not thinking didn't work. What if she wasn't interested? Even if she was, having two matesprits probably wouldn't work, it was way too much of a good thing especially for him, but. He really wanted to try. Fuck.

"Ask me what?" Jade shouted, still at a distance.

John laughed, sounding giddy and nervous and relieved all at once. "Relationship stuff," he said in a normal tone, and Karkat saw Jade nod. "Karkat wants to try a real relationship with both of us, and I think it'd be way easier that way, I won't do anything dumb and you won't be mean!"

Wait, that sounded like - were they moirails? Originally he'd assumed so, since they lived together, but then they'd bickered like ordinary hatefriends and he'd thought angels must be different. But John was taking it for granted they'd balance each other out in this bizarre three-leafed matespritship, the way moirails would. Karkat would never fucking understand angels.

Jade wheeled a little way off, coming around to match John's speed and direction. "I wouldn't be mean, dumbbutt, but okay!" she said. "So what's the question?"

"Wha - that was!" Karkat snapped. "That is the question! Are you - will - do you want. John already agreed to be my matesprit, but. Will you be one too?"

"Hmm. That sounds really fun and interesting, but there are probably some cultural differences we'll need to figure out," she said. "Are you going to completely flip out the first time we get something wrong? Or if you make a mistake?"

...Shit, he hadn't even thought about that. "Probably," he muttered. "But, um. Only because I'm a fucking moron. I'll get over it."

"And I'll yell at you until you settle down!" Jade said cheerfully. "Sounds exciting and full of drama!"

"Can't we just talk about things first and cut out the yelling and drama?" John said.

"Well, sure, we'll talk about things," Jade said, "but I doubt that'll be enough to prevent drama entirely. Vantas is a pretty dramatic demon!"

"Oh!" John said. "Um, the name, about - Ka - uh, you want to...?"

"Yeah," Karkat said. "But first, uh, was that a yes?"

"Sure!" said Jade. "We'll try it out and see how it goes."

Holy shit, he couldn't believe they'd both agreed. Fuck oh snakes oh shit, he had two matesprits. How the fuck did this even happen? "O-okay. Right. Good."

"Kar - uh, hey, are you breathing? Because you're sort of tense and I think you're clawing holes in my shirt - "

"Shit!" Karkat's hand sprang open from where he realized it had been clenching, maybe putting holes in more than John's shirt. "Fuck, I didn't - I - "

John ducked his head and kissed Karkat on the forehead, which was both unnervingly pale and very effective. Karkat found his muscles beginning to loosen even as he growled under his breath.

"Just relax, okay?"

"Mrgh. Whatever." He took a deep breath. "My... my personal name is Karkat." It still felt terribly vulnerable, but also right.

"Oh! Thank you for telling me," said Jade. "I promise not to misuse it."

Karkat nodded, then buried his face in the folds of John's shirt. Holy fuck, this night was already too much for him and it'd only just begun.

"Hey, buddy, it's okay."

"Aww, Karkat, don't hide!  Hey, can I carry you now?"

"How are you going to get me without risking dropping me?" he grumbled.

"Oh, that's easy!" Jade started, and John cut her off.

"Wait a sec.  You gave us your name because you trust us to keep it to ourselves.  Does that mean you'll keep our secrets too?  Like, from other demons?"

"So long as they don't include plans to fucking attack or anything, yeah," Karkat said cautiously. He wasn't sure about this. Telling secrets was dangerous, but being given secrets might well be even worse, especially if someone decided later that he shouldn't have been told. The obvious solution then would be to remove him - but having agreed to be matesprits, maybe these two would protect him? He had to keep trusting them.

"Good!" Jade said.  "John's aspect is Breath, so even if he lets go of you right now, you're safe."

"Yup," John said, and the swirling lines over his shoulders glowed brighter as air surged up under Karkat, lifting him.

Gasping, Karkat clung to John's neck. Trust only went so far when it came up against a long fucking fall. "No no no, don't fucking let go, I believe you already now stop!"

"Okay, okay!  Relax, I won't drop you."

They flew in silence for a moment as Karkat wondered why the fuck the Breath thing was a big important secret. It wasn't like demons went around yelling their aspects to everyone they met, but it wasn't a big deal if their enemies found out - how would it help them? Angels were weird.

Jade interrupted his thoughts with, "So does this mean you won't let me carry you?"

Karkat took a deep breath. Still securely held, he was safe with John and he had to believe he'd be safe with Jade too, otherwise it wasn't fair. "No.  You can. Just be fucking careful, okay?"

"Yay!" She clapped her hands instead of swooping in delight like John had, which did instill a flicker of confidence in Karkat.

The wind swirled around him as John handed him over. Even holding him at arm's reach the angel showed no strain, and he didn't let go until Jade had her arms securely under Karkat.  Karkat's tail unwrapped from John's arm and whipped itself around hers instead and she giggled. Maybe the air would have caught him if he'd slipped loose, but Karkat only felt like he could breathe again when he was pressed firmly against Jade's rumble spheres.

They were really soft and comfortable.

"So!" Jade said. "Whatcha think about that sex in the air idea?"

"Fuck no," Karkat said flatly, "you will drop me mid-orgasm and I will die a humiliating and pointless death with my bulge still out. We will wait until we get back to your fucking tree."

"Awesome," John said, and grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Corrected a detail about names I hadn't thought through properly before.  
> 


End file.
